Thursday, September 8, 2011

Identity Theft

               This is the end of the road were the only words spoken.  After twenty-nine years of service, I was given five minutes to gather my personal belongings.  In shock, I left behind more than I collected.  My career had crumbled.  Too often, we define who we are by our occupation.  So, for five years I have carried the stigma of unemployed.  Constant rejection gnaws at worthiness.  Employers now openly state that the unemployed need not apply.  Their mission is greed and control.  Drug and IQ tests, a background check, all for a minimum wage job that is demeaning and unfulfilling.  The whole situation makes it feel futile to keep trying.  I can pass all their tests, but they want to control behavior when you’re not on their clock.
               My children have begun to scale the corporate ladder.  They have stayed in my nest to help their bum father as they itch to fly and make their own mark on the world.  My pride lamp glows brightly on them with gratitude and intense guilt.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
               Yesterday, all the neighbor kids headed off to the first day of school.  Today was my wife’s first day of work in thirty years.  Let’s hope I don’t have to wait twenty-five more years for a job.  It’s really her first time of being on a payroll in all those years.  She worked plenty hard being an involved mom and making our house a home.  She wouldn’t let me take of picture of her this morning like she did for our kids’ first day of school every year.
               Now I have become the house husband, stay-at-home dad whose kids only need me to find a job so they can soar.  Humbly, I recognize my talent wastes and withers as each day passes.  In the process, I have begun to discover my true identity.  It wasn’t stolen, but buried in manure just waiting to be uncovered.  Alone, we are getting reacquainted.  The cow pie skies are parting as I start anew three nickels short of a dime.
Enough introspection, I have floors to mop.     


  1. My heart really goes out to you and your family. I can imagine how difficult this must be for all of you but, mostly for you. I have been lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom for 21 yrs. I have loved every minute of it but I am well aware that this could all crumble at any moment---we've had some close calls the last few yrs. when my husband wasn't sure if the company would make it thru another 3 months. I guess what I'm trying to get to is that I have come to believe that there is a gift hidden somewhere in everything that happens. Losing your job had to be horrendous but I hope that you are starting to be able to see the gift you've been given. After all, you're no longer the only nut on the tree---you have all us other nuts for company!! And I'm afraid this comment has a "lecture-y" tone which I really did not intend!! I'm not as good at expressing myself in writing as SOME people around here!!!

  2. Sometimes the word verifications crack me up with their appropriatness---this one was fuchawn. You can interpret that however you like!!

  3. All I can say is this world we live in is wicked and built on greed and greed alone. We are an oligarchy, certainly not a democracy. The human being is reduced to a piece in a machine......channeling Orwell......
    But you are a shining star Glenn because you can put to words what SO MANY are feeling. You are not the exception to the rule, and in a society with no rules, it keeps us separate and fractured. Your words gather us in.
    Keep growing.
    The cow pies are tumbling...I can see them starting to fall quicker....


  4. Ugh. How hard Glenn. So sorry for your struggles. I don't know how it feels nor can I as I am not a man. I do see the struggles every day (in my man) to feel capable of providing. Identity for so many is wrapped up in career but I know even more so for man as he fights to fill his position as provider. It is wonderful that your wife was able to stay home all those years. You helped make it happen. Kudos to you. Now she steps in and joins the work force to provide. Sounds like you two have a supportive relationship, no?
    Perhaps you could (for an artistic playdate) write a letter (not to be sent, for your own use) to your former employee. A thank you note of sorts. Thanking them for forcing you out into the world so you can make your mark. Cutting the cord of your false identity so you could discover the real Glenn. Let them know who you are. Write down all your dreams and goals. Nothing is too grand for you! Write big and powerful and write it as if it were NOW and not "I want to be". Write "I AM". Make it happen Glenn! Look at it as the golden ticket. Get in the game. Be the star player of your life. And when you get to the end zone and slam that ball down for your first major touchdown? Look back in the stands. You will see me there whistling and cheering you on. I will be screaming "I knew you could!!!! I knew you could Glenn!!! And now you know it too!!!!!"

  5. It is what it is. I am grateful to be rid of crooks, liars and idiots, but miss the others and a sense of purpose. Robin, you write great and how do you think nuts would interrupt that word?! Anne, it's hard to sparkle when covered in poop. Nacherluver, you are one inspirational cheerleader.

  6. Wow, the comments are awesome and i'm going to apply them to me too. I so understand where you're coming from it's not even funny. I was making my own $ since I was 16. I didn't blink an eye when I divorced the first time because I knew I could afford it, bought a condo, furnished it, didn't feel the pinch of losing the hubby's income. But then I quit and sometimes feel that unfamiliar fear that if things don't work out with hubby #2, it won't be easy. I too miss the camaraderie of coworkers, feeling I matter somehow, and yep my sense of self was tied into my career. I was so used to Elena Project Manager that afterwards I had no idea who I was. But I'm starting to realize this may be a (painful) gift to do just as the others have said. A new beginning; on our own terms. We'll figure it out. We wouldn't get this second chance if we weren't meant to do something with it. Congrats to your wife's new beginnings and don't worry about your kids, I'm sure they are doing this because they love you.

  7. Wow Glenn, thankful we have the net to get many voices like yours out. Humanity is slowly waking to this mountain of poo we have been buried under for many moons. Peter Gallison wrote a piece titled Removing Knowledge, he holds a post of arguably one of the most prestigious positions in all of education. Just the title gives you an idea and this is our education system. The mega millions of documents withheld from the public each year is the topic. The thirteen colonies of the United States declared its independence on July 4th 1776, there was fourteen president's from this date till George Washington was inaugurated 1789 and yet George has been known as our first president. There was some wonderful history of presidents removed from our knowing. Why? Progress was under way for a fully usury free country and got squashed by the designed distractions. The ID of the first 14 president's were stolen and made obsolete. Stay strong our brother

  8. Together, we will help each other make the most of our second chance. They growing pains of discovery are like the sore muscles of a new exerciser.
    There is plenty of censorship still going on, just look at the Texas school systems.