Just finished an intensive two month course in Australian. I love language and the variations of word meanings, pronunciations along with accents. Here’s what I retained from my study.
I woke up this mahning feeling a little toey in the covas and thought about wanking cos I was alone, but I put on my nickas instead and opened the cootins. Went to the loo and schowad in wahm whadah. My clothes weh in the wahdrobe and I put some on. I walked on the foot path so my shoes didn’t get wet in the mohning dju. The buhds were singing and the skweerels weh prahncing around. I went to the stoah and got a trolley to load everything I wanted to buy at the mahket. My list had tomahtoes, cheese from Frahns, rock melon, chook and bum nuts. I bought a slab of tinnies too. Been dry as a dead dingo’s donga lately. When I went to load the boot, I forghat to buy the googs and lollies. Figured I could just skull the tinnies latah, but didn’t want to be a chucky. Sawr a cute baby in a nappy with a dummy in ha mouth. Shoowah is a lot to see he-a on Uhth. I went to get some medicine at the chemist’s and then to the pageant wheha I bought some fairy floss. The wind kicked up and I put on my jumpha. Had a picnic in the pahk and sat on my rug because I didn’t want ahnts in my bits. My mobile battry died. Bloody hell! I wrapped my leftovers in aloo minium foil to eat lateh. All the bee-ah made me have to have a slash and I went behind the shed. I was close to being off my face. It was dahk out, so I got out my torch as I drank a spidah on the deck. Had my own pahdee pretending I was beyond the black stump. Sawr the yahd needed trimming, so I decided I’d pull out the whippa snippa in the mahning. The mozzies were thick last night. Bloody oath. Good on ya, bloke. Oi! I reckon I will be called out as a dibba dobba, septic tank dag now.