Dear Mom and Dad,
How nice of you both to float by in the clouds together. We really need to talk. You’d be proud of me voting for a half-white guy for President and he won! Sorry to report that the good old boys still run the roost. I know when you were down here I went a little overboard with your ultra-liberal beliefs and became a rebellious, law breaking youth. But, you taught me how special I was and implied that life was fair. Well, I have learned I am as unique as one blade of grass on the football field, one grain of sand at the beach or one drop of water in the ocean. I also have learned that life isn’t close to being fair. Why did you try to hide the crap that was bound to land on me?
But, that’s not what I want to talk about right now. You had such high hopes for me, so I need to come clean with what’s been going on down here. I hope you are both settled up there in the convergent zone because this is big news. As much as you were hoping I would turn out different, I am not gay. I like girls. I hear you saying “Good grief, where did we go wrong?” Maybe you can quit using the term “good grief” now because there is no good in grief. I have more to get off my chest while you are here. I met a girl and I like her and she’s white, like us. I am sorry to disappoint you, but inter-racial grandbabies may not be seeded by me into this grand melting pot experiment called America. By the way, I have been having nightmares imagining you two doing the same things she does to me.
So there it is, I am out of the closet. I had to clear the air. Go ahead and rain on my parade if you want, that’s what clouds do. But, I feel the wind kicking up again, so you better hurry up. Hope you float by again real soon.