Aussie Speak

Just finished an intensive two month course in Australian.  I love language and the variations of word meanings, pronunciations along with accents.  Here’s what I retained from my study.

I woke up this mahning feeling a little toey in the covas and thought about wanking cos I was alone, but I put on my nickas instead and opened the cootins.  Went to the loo and schowad in wahm whadah.  My clothes weh in the wahdrobe and I put some on.  I walked on the foot path so my shoes didn’t get wet in the mohning dju.  The buhds were singing and the skweerels weh prahncing around.  I went to the stoah and got a trolley to load everything I wanted to buy at the mahket.  My list had tomahtoes, cheese from Frahns, rock melon, chook and bum nuts.  I bought a slab of tinnies too.  Been dry as a dead dingo’s donga lately.  When I went to load the boot, I forghat to buy the googs and lollies. Figured I could just skull the tinnies latah, but didn’t want to be a chucky.  Sawr a cute baby in a nappy with a dummy in ha mouth.  Shoowah is a lot to see he-a on Uhth.  I went to get some medicine at the chemist’s and then to the pageant wheha I bought some fairy floss.  The wind kicked up and I put on my jumpha.  Had a picnic in the pahk and sat on my rug because I didn’t want ahnts in my bits.  My mobile battry died.  Bloody hell!  I wrapped my leftovers in aloo minium foil to eat lateh.  All the bee-ah made me have to have a slash and I went behind the shed.  I was close to being off my face.  It was dahk out, so I got out my torch as I drank a spidah on the deck.  Had my own pahdee pretending I was beyond the black stump.  Sawr the yahd needed trimming, so I decided I’d pull out the whippa snippa in the mahning.  The mozzies were thick last night.  Bloody oath.  Good on ya, bloke.  Oi!  I reckon I will be called out as a dibba dobba, septic tank dag now.