Thursday, April 19, 2012

Writer Dos & Don’ts

            Writers should never do yard work.  It gives them too much time to think things like mowing the lawn must be traumatic for the bugs that live in it.  Their forest is being destroyed.  And as the rotary blades behead the dandelions, they must be stressed that their sun has been murdered.  Mole hills must be like volcanoes and earthquakes combined.
Writers shouldn’t do laundry either.  They throw whatever colors together and let them soak and spin.  When it’s time to fold things up, they seldom do it neatly and always leave the lint filter clogged with loose strings. 
Writers should never do housework.  They are good at creating a mess, but seldom clean everything up.  Sure, they dust here and there, but come on.  They never leave things spotless.  Although a writer may be a gourmet cook, never ask them to do the dishes for the same reason.
Writers should never be given ultimatums, deadlines or set bedtime hours.  Their creative time should be treated as sacred.  Never interrupt one when they are in the flow as this can be dangerous for all involved.
  All of the don’ts mentioned above are activities that tend to be slow in getting done anyway because they stop to take notes on the front porch after seeking bugs in the grass, watching the washing machine rattle in spin cycle, inspecting the parts of the vacuum closely or playing with the soap suds in the sink.  
               Writers should always have access to little people.  It is through young eyes that the wonderment of life is intended to be viewed.
Writers should always have something to drink handy.  Whether it water, juice, coffee, tea, beer, wine or hard liquor, they need something to prevent their words from becoming dry.
Writers should always be allowed to express their ideas and thoughts freely without fear of critics or authority.  It is only through this pure process can one’s truth be told.                      
Writers should always have some knowledge of their topic.  Because of that, I looked up the controversy of apostrophes or not in the title of this post.  The grammar police tell me “dos and don’ts” are plurals not possessives, thus need no extra apostrophes.  I am going with that.
Writers should be loved at all times for they are the acute observers of the human condition disseminating their wisdom through words.  They paint mental pictures, sculpt scenarios while juggling a collage of issues singing out their imagination, planting seeds for thought.  Be sure your writer always has an ample supply of pens and paper.  They get snarly otherwise.
Of course, these dos and don’t are just a partial list, but someone had to start compiling this vital information.  Just another example of how important writers are in this world.  You are welcome in advance. 


  1. What a fun Friday list! My favorite rule?

    "Writers should always have something to drink handy. Whether it water, juice, coffee, tea, beer, wine or hard liquor, they need something to prevent their words from becoming dry."


    Sending you love this Friday. Want to make sure you get your fill.

  2. God, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this! It should be on a poster like ones I've seen..."Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum and "How to be an Artist" by Sark. In fact, everytime you say writer I can replace it with artist and it still makes perfect sense! You are a writer who is loved! Keep hydrated with whatever it takes. Don't get dry!!

  3. Much of this wisdom can be applied to many artists. I myself have recently taken on a 6 year old apprentice, I will begin her training. Or maybe she will train me! I can certainly learn from her.

  4. Well writers also need to keep their readers happy otherwise their words might go unread. As a reader of your words I would like another chapter please ... oh I forgot, writers should not be given ultimatums or deadlines ... well then I guess I will just go to bed unhappy instead.

  5. Yes, libations and youthful instructors inspire creativity. Without them, unwritten words are never read.